Parenting hard or hard parenting?

Parenting hard or hard parenting? A subject that seems to be cropping up a little more than I’d like. I mean parenting is a constant job of course and I am in no way complaining about the choices I’ve made, but sometimes you just get little taken a back just how much it can consume you as a person. Does mother/fatherhood define you? Does it define me? I guess yes, I wouldn’t be much else if I wasn’t a mother. I have always known I would have a big family.

I am not always this open to sharing publicly my parenting anxieties or how much they can flood my thoughts. But I feel I can today. To share these woes gives us parents a chance to offload and then be able to make a little more breathing space to face the next challenge right?

I know we are facing a real change in family dynamics of late, I have a teenager in a matter of days, my only daughter is in her last year at primary school (this is bringing a lot of changes) another one with middle child syndrome and a youngest child who really isn’t so little anymore. He’s more demanding and definitely not the baby.

The little kid years are hard, but oh so rewarding and instantly satisfying. Those sweet little toddlers so easily pleased to learn about the new world around them. Learning basic skills like learning to walk & talk, seeing so much good in the tiniest of things…… and not fussed about what the brand of their trainers are!!!!!

These bigger years are the real ones, the ones you wish you’d stopped wanting your babies to grow quicker for, the ones that will really test your skills. When I realised I had survived the newborn phase and my baby was a pretty happy one I thought ” yes we’re half way there, if we can do this we can do anything ” boy was I in fairy land!

Someone once said to me “if it’s too easy then maybe you’re not doing it right” I do believe if it’s too good then its most probably not true! But to be honest there is no right way there is your way. What you find works for you then go with it.

I am a firm believer in stripping things right back when times get tough. I know when we are all pretty tense and wound up with each other……it cant get much worse. The next day has to be better, much better. Make a change and everyone will soon start smiling again. Those changes for me are definitely regaining control, standing firm on rules but being relaxed at the same time. Children seem to thrive on some form of routine or another. I cannot be far from it but I can be spontaneous and do things unplanned. Getting outside together, breathing fresh air, ‘ doing ‘ something together always brings us closer and helps with the bickering!!!

Yes, parenting is hard, especially when were trying doing it right. But the support is there, it always will be. Because if you’re a parent then you know what i’m talking about and you also know, you are NOT alone.

// Our unconventional family //


1 Comment

  1. mymamamusings
    01/05/2017 / 6:27 pm

    What a great post Ruby.

    I am just hitting the pre-pre teen stage (my eldest will be 10 in November) and this stage is pretty scary. I’m quite confident with the babes and toddlers, but this is a whole new ball game! It’s such a fine line between trying to be fair and not being a push over and being aware the younger ones are watching how you handle things!

    Look forward to reading lots more from you.

    Cherie || My Mama Musings x

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